The card I never sent

by Amy on September 21, 2016


“Oh my God! I think I’m turning into mom!”
My sisters and I used to joke.
My mom was a good sport about it 😉
Which is why I bought this card for her many Halloweens ago.


And for many Halloweens I thought I would get around to sending it to her…
Because it was true.
It was the way I really thought about turning into my mother…
And I wanted her to know that.
But each year I let the minutiae of life get in the way.
And then one November, not long after another Halloween that I didn’t send the card,
She died suddenly and unexpectedly.
I still have the card.
I put it up every Halloween now.
As a tribute to my mother.
And to remind myself to never again let the minutiae of life…
get in the way of what really matters.
Go tell someone they matter.
While there’s still time.


P.S. I’m featured this week on Andrea Owen’s Kick Ass Life Podcast. I share why I decided to stop drinking three years ago and what it means to feel like a fraud. You can check it out here.


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Virginia Reeves September 22, 2016 at 4:19 pm

Amy – this is good timing for me. Last week my brother was in a bad motorcycle accident. He’s going to have a long recovery ahead as the left side of his back all the way down to his toes were broken and smashed. Great news is the upper half is okay, he’s a fighter, and he will get through this and be up and about. His thoughts and spirits are staying positive (well – a few times when the pain is bad they might dip). He is right now in the mode of over appreciating everyone who contacts him. It’s made some of us far more attuned to the fact that we need to tell others how special they are. Thanks for this good reminder to not wait – send that card, make a call, spend some time.


Linda Gotsch September 22, 2016 at 11:20 pm

Amy, I appreciated your post. It is good to know that I am not the only one to put up a card for my mother that she never received. I was much older than you when I lost my mother five years ago but it certainly wasn’t any easier. I consider her to still be with me and believe that she sees her card. We are both fortunate to have good relationships with our mothers and can be grateful for that. We will always be daughters and that is a good thing. I consider it an honor to be turning into my mother. It is my version of her though because I will never be her. Your children will get to know her through you. Sending love to you.


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