Be here, now

by Amy on February 24, 2017

A few nights ago, my husband said something mildly stupid that hurt my feelings. I am as soft-bellied as they come. I get my feelings hurt with an astonishing frequency. It is one of the many downsides of having a moon in Scorpio.

Anyway…We were in bed, my back turned against him. I was convinced we absolutely WOULD be going to sleep ANGRY tonight. Actually I was angry. He was pretty oblivious on the other side of the bed watching Game of Thrones.

I couldn’t sleep I was so mad. And then I reminded myself to feel it. I felt the anger move through me like a bad case of heartburn piercing every damn cell. I just lay there with it.

Eventually — like a few minutes later — my anger-heartburn settled into a quiet sort of, dare I say, peaceful feeling. As soon as it got quiet inside my body I knew the anger had flushed its way out. At that moment, my husband, I shit you not, reached out his hand and pulled me into a hug. Yep, the EXACT moment I finished feeling my feelings.

Ahhh the sheer number of things we will do to avoid feeling things…


Buy shoes.

Watch TV.

Start a fight.

Troll Facebook.


And here’s a deceptive one…

THINKING! Seems harmless enough, right? No.

You will never ever be able to think your way through emotional pain. Trust me, I’ve tried.

I’ll think about the past, worry about the future, replay conversations that happened eons ago, yes.. re-enact them over and over in my mind, inventory the wrongs perpetrated against me, make up entire conversations in my mind.

What lengths will you go, at what cost, to avoid feeling a few seconds, one or two minutes tops, of emotional pain?

Nobody likes to feel grief, loss, anger, shame, rejection, loneliness or any other variation of emotional despair we humans run up against over and over again throughout this thing called life.

But if you’re not careful, you could go your whole life running away from a feelings that only take a few minutes out of your day to feel. 

Case in point:

I have been stewing about the loss of a friend for over a year now — over a year! I was getting so sick of myself for making myself so sick about it. I kept trying to think my way through it, to figure it out, but I couldn’t so I’d stew over it and then I’d stew over why I couldn’t  get over it. That is a lot of time stewing.

And then the other day in the shower, I remembered to cry. Hot water helps. I felt it. All of it — the anger, the sadness, the hot water, the shame, all the crappy feelings surrounding it.

Since I let myself ugly cry in the shower — miraculously — the pain is FINALLY gone. BOOM.

Another tip…

Hot water helps. So do essential oils. There is nothing like the power of smell to bring you right smack into the present moment.

Here’s why this matters:

When you feel your feelings, you need to connect with our body. Thinking doesn’t work, remember? Most of us are stuck in an endless thought loop —  rehashing the past, worrying about the future.

How often are you HERE, NOW, as they say… seeing what you see, tasting what you taste, hearing what you hear, smelling what you smell?

Feeling your feelings starts with being in the moment. Essential oils help with this.

Sure, you can use them to feel better physically or to look better (zapping zits in a single day is AWESOME) BUT there are other ninja ways to use them.

Each oil has it’s own frequency, along with properties to support you for super specific emotional setbacks.

A few examples…

Lime oil balances the heart and the mind. Always trying to THINK your way out of feelings? This is the oil for you. It will get you in your heart when you need to be.

Marjoram is the oil of connection. Do you have trust issues? This is your go-to oil for trauma over any kind of rejection.

Oils raise your vibration. Each one vibrates differently. The human body vibrates at around 62 megahertz. When you vibrate lower than that, you get sick. Essential oils raise your vibes. Using them, applying them, smelling them… lower vibrations have a hard time taking up space with high vibe oils.

So, to sum it up:

Essential oils help you feel your feels by…

  1. Helping you connect to the present moment
  2. Be in your body via your sense of smell
  3. Support you emotionally in specific ways depending on the oil
  4. Raise you vibration

So the next time you are hurting, try this.

Put the fork down, turn off the TV, keep your mouth shut, set aside your wallet, close your computer and just sit there. Feel your feelings, watch them, listen to them, observe them moving through your body.

Get out some oils if you have them. Or take a hot shower.

It’ll take a few minutes at the most, promise.

Want to learn more about how oils can help you emotionally? Like which ones to use when and where?

Send me an email or shoot me a direct message and we’ll talk. I’ll help you learn how to use the right oils in the right combination for your unique emotional mess.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Virginia Reeves February 24, 2017 at 6:29 pm

Amy – I’m sure many others besides me will totally identify with the thinking and feeling patterns you described. It is so silly and wasteful of our emotions and energy to go through that non-useful loop. I began to in bed last night going over a conversation with my brother from earlier in the day. Since I’ve already made the decision that he has to figure out his life on his own (I’ve been supportive maybe too much in the 5+ months since his motorcycle accident) I have to stick to my guns and keep my mouth shut. He’s 64 and took care of his life without my help all that time. I got up, watched a heart-warming movie on t.v., and fell asleep in the chair. Woke up this morning calm and not concerned. In addition to going through the feelings, we sometime just have to say “Let it be, you are not responsible.”


Sharon "Smokey"Gray February 25, 2017 at 1:08 am

Wow Virginia…that was such a good response…I really appreciate the kindness and the deepness of that. . Dats a nice…lvSmokeyg


Amy February 26, 2017 at 3:51 pm

Yes, let it be. I can totally relate.


Sue February 24, 2017 at 6:36 pm

Hi Amy –
Great post! Thank you for the reminder that “thinking” does very little good in an emotional situation: the request to “be logical” fails miserably (and causes more misery!).
Thanks also for the marjoram oil tip…a couple of years ago, I was gently led to an awareness that I experience a mild-to-medium PTSD. Now that I know, I can process it in the many tools that I have. But I hadn’t heard of marjoram specifically – I’ve been using lavender and peppermint (peppermint to disengage/interrupt the pattern, lavender to soothe).


Amy February 26, 2017 at 3:51 pm

Let me know how it goes with the Majoram!


Julia February 24, 2017 at 6:42 pm

I love this post!!! I need to remember not to think my way around the pain. Love that essential oils can help with this. THANKS AMY!


Amy February 26, 2017 at 3:51 pm

Thank you Julia!


jocelyn February 24, 2017 at 7:25 pm

i have recently been introduced to essential oils. I, too carry around alot of shame, guilt, regret etc. i am a softie also and get hit back in forth like a tennis ball, between different members of my family. it sucks. I dont know if its abuse or legal or what to do this to someone who is mentally disabled. Well, anyway, i know that there is one scent makes me blissfully happy and serene-. When i take my walks, i often smell honeysuckle. i cant explain it but that is the one. do you think they have that scent in essential oils. i was even thinking of planting some in the front yard. but im kinda dumb so probably would mess it up. well, thank you amy and virginia for sharing.


Amy February 26, 2017 at 3:58 pm

You should surround yourself with Honeysuckle Jocelyn! Give yourself that gift. I think depending on where you life, it isn’t too hard to grow. I don’t know of a honeysuckle oil but there are other floral ones like ylang ylang and geranium. If you are comforted by scent then I bet you would love having a diffuser in your home.


Carol Merwin February 24, 2017 at 8:32 pm

Hi Amy, I tend to be in my head, so this was a great reminder to quit trying to think my way out of things–and to do the work with my emotions, heart, body when that is where the energy is stuck. I use essential oils all the time for myself. And recently, I used oils to make scented bath salts for Valentine’s Day. Bought big bags of unscented epsom salts from the store (Walgreens), mixed in drops of oils, different oils in different batches, made some batches with oil blends, and put them in canning jars. The teenagers in my life are asking for more! So fun to see my daughter’s big, athletic, 16-year-old boyfriend ask to take home more scented bath salts. The little kids in my sister’s life (ages 3 and 7) are also loving the bath salts and asking for more. In retrospect it seems obvious this is a simple way we can support the kids in our lives and help them balance their energy. I love that they are naturally drawn to using them. And it was such a simple gift to make and fits my gifting criteria–has to be experiential, useful, consumable rather than stuff. Thanks for your post. Carol


Amy February 26, 2017 at 3:59 pm

Kids and teens love oils! Love putting them in the bath too!


Sharon "Smokey"Gray February 25, 2017 at 1:04 am

Lord girl where did you and your husband come from? You both look like (in the picture above) like you were made for each other. I love your candor…it reminds me to keep in touch with who I really am too. And you describe everything….so well and real. It’s like you know how to get to the grounding of something…yes…you are a grounder! Glad your’e on the planet with the rest of us…we need people like you and your willing subject there…tee hee. LOVE…p.s. Mom spelled backwards is WOW and dog spelled backwards is….what? LvSmokeyg


Amy February 26, 2017 at 3:59 pm

Thank you SO much Sharon. Your words mean the world to me.


Richard February 25, 2017 at 2:21 am

What fantastic advice and words.


Amy February 26, 2017 at 3:59 pm



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